My father, walking beside me, points out the other cabins that line the snowy road. We look at the neighbors’ land, some dense with trees and large rocks, others, long lawns that stretch toward the narrow road that runs along the river. The river, this time of year, glistening and curving. The sky is bright: reflective. I am reminded of winter hikes through the woods as a kid. My sisters and I carrying a thermos full of hot chocolate. We’d rest on fallen logs, passing the plastic cup of steaming cocoa between us, looking for signs of life atop the snow, deer and raccoon tracks criss-crossing around us.

Among the large oaks, the clear air leaves me wanting simple things: a fire, some food, a place to put up my feet. There’s a way that, if the embers burn just right, the orange glow from the fire can last for hours.

I want to harness the moon. It’s heavy pregnant glow emanating. My father, a few paces ahead of me now, enjoys his rugged refuge. Out here in the cold dense woods, coyotes, and wind, whistling between trees. Out here: the stark winter sun. Out here. I can feel the ice cleats on the bottom of my shoes, catching. 

In a City as crazy as New York, staying calm and serene on a street corner can be a (really) difficult thing to do. I know this because for the past seven years, I have rushed around in a half-dazed state from one destination to the the next, at times, forgetting about buildings, people, and sometimes even streetlights. It would be easy to say that this is just what the urban lifestyle is, hustle & bustle, and that there is something even appealing to rushing around. It’s true that there is a ‘charge’ in rushing. A bolt of excitement. A feeling of importance. It’s also the perfect speed at which to feel…nothing.

Rushed states keep us in a form of anxiety, this can feel pleasurable in its excitement or stressful in its overwhelm. Either way, anxiety masks the feelings underneath it. It’s the perfect ruse to cover the truth of what is really happening.

When you slow w-a-y down, the perception of what is actually important, changes, and more truth comes to the surface. Is what you are doing or need to get done really that important? If you look at the big picture of your life, what is truly important to you? For me, it’s slowing down and appreciating the energy of life that surrounds me. It’s taking time to walk slowly and watch the world unfold in its own way, to its own erratic rhythm.

The Webster dictionary defines the word Choice as:

Choice (n): care in selecting

We are faced with choices in every moment. Some of these choices happen automatically, i.e.- choosing to run from danger, and some happen deliberately, i.e.-choosing to get a new job.

Whether preplanned or impromptu, choice is always present. And yet, so many of us go about our day, making choices without even realizing it. The ‘care in selecting’ what we really want, on a deeper level, never quite happens.

We live in an information overloaded, technology booming society that focuses on immediate gratification and the consumerism mindset of wanting more. As a result, it has become all too easy to be swept up in the world of  mobile apps, television shows, video games, and social media platforms. Trust me, I get it.  I got caught up for a month, watching an entire season of a hit t.v. show in my apartment. I spent days (yes, literally) in my pajamas, watching episode after episode with deep addictive pleasure.

While these activities can provide us with excitement, content, and mental stimulation, they also leave us far from the center of our own lives, happening, right now, in the present moment. While we are busy ‘plugging in’, we are distracting ourselves from a deeper level of happiness.

True intimacy, with oneself and others, happens in the present moment and it brings about feelings of safety, loyalty, love, and fulfillment. We are connection hungry creatures. With our ancestral roots dating back to tribal times, we, indeed, survived through community and our relational skills enabled our successful evolution. Now, I’m not saying that technology has inhibited our ability to communicate. In fact, it has enhanced the opportunity to make connections on a global scale. But I am saying that the art of making conscious choices is dying with so many stimuli vying for our attention.  We are losing precious moments that are available to us every day because we aren’t hitting the pause button on our distractions.

My urging to you this week is to stop, hit the pause button, and notice what is happening in your life, in the moment. And make a conscious choice to direct your energy to something that will feed your reality. Here are some examples:

-Turn off the television for a few hours and cook a meal, from scratch
-When you are out to dinner with someone, don’t check your phone, not even if they get up and go to the restroom
-Turn off all electronics two hours before bedtime one night this week and find a way to relax in your apartment without them
-Take a walk without your phone or music and focus on your breath and your surroundings

Notice what happens if you challenge yourself to unplug. Lots of feelings and mindsets can come up: fear, anxiety, resistance, joy, safety, confusion. What does this have to do with the way you make decisions? What are your choices creating in your life? In ten years, if you are making the same decisions, what does your life look like?

The more you learn about yourself in regard to why you make the decisions you do, the more power you have in making decisions that enhance your life over decisions that distract you from your life. Take some care in your selections. Choose wisely.